All: We tender young maids, have been courted by many Of all sorts and trades as ever were any. They flirted and wheedled and all had their say But my choice is my own at the end of the day (Chorus) My thing is my own and I'll keep it so still all the young lasses can do what they will my thing is my own and I'll keep it so still all the young lasses can do what they will A blacksmith came courting forge fires alight if the iron is hot, he knows just when to strike alas he caught me in a moment too cool So I would not help him by quenching his tool (Chorus) A pirate made bold in his enterprise And presented a ship of considerable size his vessel was trim, with rigging held fast But I soundly refused to climb his top mast (Chorus) The young oyster seller who walks by the sea would oft raise her siren song up to me though her sea salted wares are quite tasty to suck neither mussel nor clam of hers would I schuck (Chorus) A dashing young poet came up from the strand Seeking a muse with a quill in his hand He began to declaim in a manner most gallant his verses were fine, but his tongue had no talent (Chorus) I once knew a bishop, clad all in white who promised to shrive me at vespers that night he bragged of indulgences yet to be shown but I’d not let my body be biblically known (Chorus) A sun bronzed farmer came in from the field He caught me at waist and begged me to yield He reached down between us and lifted my frock But I would not oblige him by stroking his ... chicken Now here I could reckon a hundred or more beside all these gamesters recited before who made their addresses in hopes of a catch, but I would not let them anywhere near my… My thing is my own and I keep it so still all the young lasses may do what they will My thing is my own and I keep it so still UNLESS I be willing, say THEM what they will

With a rosey little maid serving beers and gin and though challenged almost nightly she’ll say with a grin that none can best her drinking at the Quartet’s Inn SPOKEN: a young man came up from the shingle and challenged the barmaid to singles they went shot for shot till his innards did rot and hers had just started to tingle SUNG: For each he drank, she drank down one “ONE! Matching drink for drink the contest had begun but for each he drank, she drank down one “ONE!” Til defeated he conceded that the maiden won SPOKEN: a scallywag looking for trouble did challenge our maid to a double he took one to her two until he turned blue and needed to burst like a bubble For each he drank, she drank down two “TWO!” Matching drink for drink even the strongest brew but for each he drank, she drank down two “TWO!” Til defeated he conceded he could not outdo SPOKEN: the next man thought he had the leeway to go toe to toe in a three way though it took half the night our maid’s never too tight and she won all his coin in a free way For each he drank, she drank down three Matching drink for drink to win his beer for free But, for each he drank, she drank down three Til defeated he conceded her the victory SPOKEN: Becca: then up stepped a handsome young buck who wanted to try at his luck he thought four to one odds would win him all the broads but instead he was royally….. For each he drank, she drank down four “FOUR!” Matching drink for drink even the tallest pour but for each he drank, she drank down four “FOUR” Til defeated he conceded as he hit the floor (Spoken): But how did she do it you ask? (Prompt audience): YOU ask…??? Audience: How did she do it??? (Sung): There’s a merry little secret at the Quartet’s Inn Four rosey little maids drinking beer and gin each the picture perfect likeness of her fellow twin the sisters who gave name to the Quartet’s Inn

If you want to learn the fiddle You must learn the fingering For fingering the fiddle is the most important thing Pull your instrument in close Set your fingers to the strings Only fingering your fiddle Will make the music sing (pre-chorus) You can pull your bow up and down Stroke the strings for a single sound But if you want the melody to sing You’ll need to learn the fingering (chorus) Fiddle diddle riddle little die die Fiddle diddle riddle little die die Fiddle diddle riddle, fiddle diddle little, Fiddle riddle die die If you want to learn the whistle I'll show you how to blow To blow upon your whistle You must purse your lips just so Set your lips upon the pipe And Take a breath deep down Then blow upon your whistle To hear it's sweetest sound Chorus If you want to learn the crumhorn I'll teach you how to tongue Tonguing on your crumhorn Is how the quick notes run Take your instrument in hand And give the reed a lick Then tongue upon your crumhorn To make the music quick Chorus If you want to learn the bohdran I'll show you how to bang Only banging on your bohdran Can make the rhythm clang Grasp your drum quite firmly And let your tipper beat Then bang upon your bohdran For rhythms loud and sweet Pre-chorus and Chorus

(Pre-Chorus) Three lovely angels sat, in an English tavern Three lovely angels sat, in an English tavern And they decided that And they decided that And they decided that, they would have another (Chorus) For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be Tomorrow we’ll be sober. here’s to the lass drinks Irish ale and goes to bed quite flirty here’s the lass drinks Irish ale and goes to bed quite flirty she never has to sleep alone she never has to sleep alone she never has to sleep alone her bed posts are quite sturdy For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be Tomorrow we’ll be sober. here’s to the lass who drinks coffee black and goes to bed uncovered Here’s the the lass who drinks coffee black And goes to bed uncovered She’ll disarm you with a kiss She’ll disarm you with a kiss She'll disarm you with a kiss And make you learn her safeword! For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be Tomorrow we’ll be sober. here’s to the lass drinks whiskey neat and goes to bed at first light here’s to the lass drinks whiskey neat and goes to bed at first light she’s the life of every feast she’s the life of every feast she’s the life of every feast she keeps her men up all night For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be For tonight we’ll merry-merry be Tomorrow we’ll be sober. Three lovely angels sat, in an English tavern Three lovely angels sat, in an English tavern And they decided that And they decided that And they decided that, we would have another

Boozing What do you think I've been doing all day? Boozing, bloody well boozing! And how do you think I've been spending my pay? Boozing, bloody well boozing! Don't tell me I'm wrong, 'cause you know I'm not right Don't argue the point, 'cause you know I will fight. But where would you like me to take you tonight, Boozing, bloody well boozing! (Chorus) Boozing, boozing, when we are dry. Boozing, boozing, suits you and I. Some does it open, but more on the sly But all of us likes to go boozing! What is the joy of Angels in disguise? Boozing, bloody well boozing. What will we be at until the night dies? Boozing, bloody well boozing. Our stalwart protection will keep England free And none to the task so merry as we At the end of each mission you know where we'll be? Boozing, bloody well boozing! (Chorus) What is the joy of the pipe and drum band? Boozing, bloody well boozing! What is it makes them all get out of hand? Boozing, bloody well boozing! Feet set to tapping, by the beat you'll be led The pulse of their song will go straight to your head But what sends them all crashing right into bed? Boozing, bloody well boozing! What is the joy of the knights at the joust Boozing, bloody well boozing! Why do the squires always seemed to be soused? Boozing, bloody well boozing! Noble in vic’try or gruesome defeat They shine in their armor, but bake in the heat So why do they struggle to stay in their seat? It's boozing bloody well boozing! What is the joy of the washing well wench? Boozing, bloody well boozing. What are they doing whenever they're drenched? Boozing, bloody well boozing. There's nary a stain they haven't met There's many a stain they'd rather forget But what do they use to keep themselves wet? It's boozing bloody well boozing! (Chorus) What is the joy of the Pirate's Pub Sing? Boozing, bloody well boozing. What do we use to make our voices ring? Boozing, bloody well boozing. We come forth each faire day to give it our all You come out so merry to answer our call but what sends us all home hanging onto the wall? Boozing, bloody well boozing! (Chorus)

(Chorus) Roll me over in the clover, roll me over, lay me down, and do it again! Here sits number one, he set his phaser to stun (Chorus) Here sits number two, on his broom I flew (Chorus) Here sits number three, I’ll ride him like the Dothraki (Chorus) Here sits number four, he speaks friend to come in my door (Chorus) Here sits number, it’s bigger when it’s inside (Chorus) Here sits number six, he knows all the Jedi tricks. (Chorus) Here sits number seven, I'm gunna plow him like he's from District Eleven Here sits number eight, his iron suit vibrates! (Chorus) Here sits number nine, be our guest and you can dine! (Chorus) Here’s to number 10 and we’ll read the fan fic again! (Chorus)

In this world there are treasures both secret and hidden if I find you worthy I’ll show one to thee but I’ll not oblige simply because I’m bidden for each of these treasures, only I hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho! My chest holds a treasure far greater than rubies it conceals and reveals what the world longs to see but it only busts open for those I have chosen for this treasure is mine, only I hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho! I keep my box locked for its treasure is precious I’ll show you what’s in it if you take a knee but its velvets and pearls are all there for my pleasure for this treasure is mine, only I hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho! At the foot of my bed, my trunk sits; a treasure and though many may covet it belongs to me but I’ll grease up the hinges and pack it quite firmly for this treasure is mine, only I hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho! These are my lips and that’s no euphemism for those whom I favor my kisses flow free but I get to say what goes out or comes in them for this treasure is mine, only i hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho! Your heart and your body are beautiful treasures and your choices are yours what’ere they may be you can share them or keep them or change your mind nightly you are a treasure, only you hold the key With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, With a jingle bang, jingle bang, jingle, hi ho!

Oh ei di die di die di die ... etc. When we return in victory it’s to the pub I’m led I’ll toast to our sweet success and down a foamy head but it matters not what fills my mug no ale or beer can quench ‘cause they are not the drink I crave and I’m a thirsty wench Oh ei di die di die di die ... etc. My favorite way to celebrate is to head straight for the shore the sailors there are trim and taut and always wanting more I’ll find a sailor willing the finest I can get his ship is not all I’ll board or all that will get wet Oh ei di die di die di die ... etc. When we come home at last rest from fights long and ventures brave I find the nearest tavern playing the music that I crave my spirits all are roused again when notes begin to flow so I’ll take the piper home with me and show him how to blow Oh ei di die di die di die ... etc. At the end of a long mission when weariness I feel I hie myself off to home for a fresh, hot, steamy meal I’ll invite a friend to join me she’s my favorite to have about ‘cause he’ll never let me cook for him she’d rather eat out Oh ei di die di die di die ... etc.

(Chorus) The ale goes straight the ale goes straight the ale goes straight to me feet The ale goes straight to me cap, me cap the ale goes straight to me cap when it goes to me cap, I'll sit on your lap the ale goes straight to me cap Chorus The ale goes straight to me sail, me sail the ale goes straight to me sail when it goes to me sail, you'll get some tail the ale goes straight to me sail Chorus The ale goes straight to me chest, me treasure chest the ale goes straight to me chest when it goes to me chest, we'll get little rest the ale goes straight to me chest Chorus The ale goes straight to me plank, me plank the ale goes straight to me plank when it goes to me sail, it's you I'll spank the ale goes straight to me plank Chorus The ale goes straight to me hook, me hook the ale goes straight to me hook when it goes to me sail, your breakfast I'll cook the ale goes straight to me hook Chorus The ale goes straight to me mast, me mast the ale goes straight to me mast when it goes to me mast, you can give it full blast the ale goes straight to me mast Chorus The ale goes straight to me parrot, me parrot the ale goes straight to me parrot when it goes to me parrot, we'll show you how to share it the ale goes straight to me parrot Chorus The ale goes straight to me aft, me aft the ale goes straight to me aft when it goes to me aft, I'll take the shaft the ale goes straight to me aft Chorus The ale goes straight to me eye-patch, me eye-patch the ale goes straight to me eye-patch when it goes to me eye-patch, I'll let you lick on me... the ale goes straight to me sail Chorus

Well, when I was a lad in a fishin' town An old man said to me: You can spend your life, your jolly life Just sailin' on the sea You can search the world for pretty girls Till your eyes are weak and dim But, don't go swimmin' with a mermaid, son If you don't know how to swim. Her hair is green as seaweed, her skin is blue and pale Her face it is a work of art You can love that girl with all your heart But you're only gonna like the upper part You will not like the tail So I signed on to a pirate ship And me very first day at sea I saw a mermaid in the waves, Reachin' out for me Come live with me in the sea she said Upon the ocean floor I'll show you a million wond'rous things That you've never seen before. So, o’er I jumped and she pulled me down Down to her seaweed bed And betwixt her clams and pearly shells, She laid me weary head She kissed me soft and deeply and anywhere I’d wish From her crown to her waist she was just my taste, But the rest of her was a fish! All: Her hair was green as seaweed, Her skin was blue and pale Her face it was a work of art I loved that girl with all me heart But I only liked the upper part I did not like the tail Well, then one day she swam away and left me blue and cold How I missed her firm and perfect tits the bits I liked to hold but then her sister she swam by And she set me heart a-whirl, 'Cause her upper part was an ugly fish But the bottom part was a girl Her skin is pink and rosy Her legs are smooth and pale Her thighs they are a work of art I love that girl with all me heart And I don't give a damn about the upper part ‘Cause now I’m getting tail!

We tender young maids, have been courted by many Of all sorts and trades as ever was any. They flirted and wheedled and all had their say But each was found wanting at the end of the day (Chorus) My thing is my own and I keep it so still all the young lasses may do what they will My thing is my own and I keep it so still all the young lasses may do what they will A knight of the stars, though forbidden to wed in eager pursuit did tempt me to bed his saber I found most pleasing in size but lacking in force, his x-wing would not rise (Chorus) A ranger came courting who’d one day be king he sought with great ardour my little one ring though his unbroken blade I’d have liked to admit he was hung less like an ent and more like a hobbit (Chorus) A boy came my way with a scar ‘cross his head who had by some magic to our village been led he noticed my hair and addressed me as Ginny but I turned him away for his wand was too skinny (Chorus) A cigar-smoking hero with claws in his hands Promised that this girl would be his Last Stand He unsheathed his weapons they glistened and shone, But alas adamantium’s not in all bones (Chorus) A dark knight of justice outside of the laws Extended an invite to join him in his cause With beacon alight he made quite an appeal But I’m no Catwoman and he’s no Man of Steel (Chorus) A thief of the galaxy the guardians’ leader Begged I address him as Star Lord, not Peter In search of my heart he made witty pursuit But I made my decline simply saying: I am Groot (Chorus) A strange man appeared by the Doctor was known offered time and space if I wished to be shown He took hold of my hand asked if I would or could, but alas his screwdriver it never does wood (Chorus) A captain made bold in his enterprise And presented a ship of considerable size But though he seemed keen to seek and explore I'd not let him go where no man's gone before (Chorus) A mad man approached with hair quite afright said he was waiting for lightning to strike He begged for my help, asked if I'd hold his stick but at 88 it'd be over too quick (Chorus) Now here I could reckon a hundred or more beside all these gamesters recited before who made their addresses in hopes of a catch, but I would not let them anywhere near my… (Chorus) My thing is my own and I keep it so still all the young lasses may do what they will My thing is my own and I keep it so still unless I be willing, say them what they will!